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2009/03/11

The Short List of Questions I Intend to Ask God When When I Get To Heaven Some Day

1. Where did that red purse of mine go?
2. Did all those vitamins and calcium supplements do us any good?
3. Did you have to make snakes so...snakey-looking? Couldn't they have had cute little ears or some fur or something?
4. Why is it that men just get better-looking as they age, but women's looks depreciate at an alarmingly accelerated rate?
5. C'mon. You can tell us now--who really won the Minnesota Senate Race?
6. Do you ever laugh at us? And I don't mean with us. I mean at us.
7. What is really in Diet Dr. Pepper, anyway?
8. Palin? Seriously?
9. Lee Harvey Oswald. What was the real scoop there?
10. Ok, so it's a little late now, but...should I have gotten an English degree instead?
11. Why is it that hypochondriacs never get cancer?
12. Overall, how did I do?
13. Did I ever remember to say "Thank You"? I meant to.

6 CLICK HERE, and you can have your say, too!:

Doug said...

13. Why are Christian movies so cheesey?

Anonymous said...

EARLY ANSWERS

1. You lost it.
2. Yes, you made much better mulch.
3. Remember, they didn't look like that before the apple thing.
4. Thankyou
5. C'mon the separation of church and state came from my side.
6. Ha, ha, ha, ha.
7. 23 SECRET flavors. Do you want me teliing your secrets.
8. All women are created equaul.
9. They shoot Presidents don't they?
10. Yes.
11. I plead the fifth.
12. It's not over yet.
13. YES

GOD

Anonymous said...

1 You left it in a shopping cart at walmart.
2. No, but you did stimulate the economy.
3. I designed everything as it should be, next you will be questioning the fact I put your nose over your mouth.
4. One word, multiples and you get to keep your hair while mens fall out. I do have a sense of humor.
5. I could but Minnesota gets what it has earned, remember Jessie Ventura.
6. Of course, it is better than you tube.
7. Note for all, Diet Dr. Pepper does not claim to have 23 flavors. Labels, read them. Better living through chemicals.
8. I get a cut on all rimless glasses sold in the us and europe.
9. Oliver Stone is wrong, he is always wrong.
10. No, do you have time to publish or perish? Refer to answer number 3.
11. They do. Just like mice eventually get it from being stuck by needles all the time.
12. You believe, I forgive, all is as it should be.
12. See 12 above.

Roxie said...

DOUG:
I can answer that one.

BECAUSE MINE ISN'T FINISHED YET.

I can positively guarantee that when I finish my novel and the screen rights get sold, it will be 100% Dairy-Free. No Cheese!

I agree with you. The current Christian Film/Fiction
diet is nothing but artery-clogging, high-cholesterol CHEESE!

Roxie said...

MR. ANONYMOUS--

AH, Sir?

Wow. I'm honored that you commented. I mean, I knew you read my blog--before everybody else does, I guess... before I even write it, even--but, I, uh, didn't realize you had internet access.

How silly of me. Of course you do.

You have omni-access.

Anywho...

Ah...

Thanks?

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